Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The lost art of a phone call

We love Kijiji at our house.  We have found some real gems on there and we use it often.  I post ads to rent rooms at our rental house in Barrie, it has been very successful for us.  I'm don't often have time to sit at the computer and check emails so I make it clear in the ad to please call with any questions and to set up showings of the rooms.  It's easier then going back and forth with people all the time on email and my husband can deal with the phone calls while he is on the road during the day.  Even with that in the ad I still get emails all the time.  Sometimes I email them back and ask them to call us.  What's interesting is that they never call.  It's like they would rather keep looking for rooms elsewhere then actually pick up the phone and have to speak to another human being.

We have also posted ads for my husbands business looking for an employee once in awhile.  We hear a lot from young people either still in trade school or just finished.  Again in the ad we ask that they call to talk about the position and set up an interview.  And again we still get lots of emails.  One guy emailed and I never answered him because we said no emails.  He went on to find our website and send a message through the website saying that he knows we said no emails but he was interested in the job and asked for us to call him to talk about it.  Well young man we won't be calling you and here's why.  First the ad said no emails please call us, you couldn't follow that simple instruction so what does that say about you.  Second we have what you want...a job, we don't want to chase you, if you are really that interested in employment then pick up the phone.  And last, you are applying for a job in the service/trade industry.  You will be talking and interacting with customers everyday, you can't hide behind your emails and your texts, you will have to make contact with other people.

This next generation is so caught up in their tech world will they be lacking personality/social skills because they don't have to interact with anyone?  I remember when I was younger sitting on the phone gabbing with my girlfriends for hours, does anyone do that anymore or are they suffering from carpal tunnel because they text or IM for hours instead?  I hope things are different for my girls as they grow up but I think it starts with me and what will be allowed and at what age.  They might seem uncool to their friends because they don't have a cell phone at 8 years old but they will probably thank me for it later.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Pinterest Gone Wrong

When I cruise Pinterest I usually only pick things that I know are the realm of my ability and a lot of kids crafts.  They always have great Christmas idea and some pretty easy ones that I think to myself..."how could I possibly mess this up!"  Well I can.

The first craft was a Christmas tree and the tree is Mia's hand prints and the lights are her finger prints.  All I had to do was paint the trunk and a star at the top.  Seems easy enough until Mia went right to the top with her hand prints leaving me no room for a star.  I tried to paint one over her green hand print which was a big flop.


The second seemed easy enough too.  Each of the girls foot prints, a simple boarder, some dots and write Mistletoes.  Mia's foot print went great, Melody was not a fan of the paint on her foot so getting her to do a nice print was a  task, and she started to slide around in the process making it not much of a print at all but I pressed on.  My dots got smudged and after I wrote Mistletoes I dropped water on the canvas running some of the letters which you can't see as much in the picture.


I was all stressed over the "imperfection" of the projects and kept trying to think of ways to fix it.  But then I had to straighten myself out and realize the point here.  Did my kids have fun?  Yes!  Then that's all that matters.  They are cute decorations we can put out each year or do new ones each year as they get bigger.  I could be the hovering mom who makes sure the crafts are perfect so they are "pin worthy" or Facebook worthy to brag about your kids.  But i'm not going to be.  

Here are our Christmas crafts in all their glory and smudges.  We had fun and made a huge mess and that's the point of it all!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Awkward mommy run-ins

To keep my girls busy through this cold season we got to a lot of play groups locally.  It's great interaction for the girls with other kids, but it can get a little awkward when there is a disagreement between kids and all the moms are there.  I'm trying not to hover over Mia all the time and if she and another little kid are having an issue over a toy or whatever I want her to work it out.  If there is pushing etc. then yes I get involved only if she is at fault and needs to apologize.

We were at a play group and this little girl had something and put it down and moved on to something else and Mia picked it up.  The little girl was upset and went to her mommy and said that Mia took it.  I could see the mom looking at me wondering if I was going to step in.  She said very loudly "oh i'm sorry she took it (looking at me)".  The mom even asked Mia to give it back, which didn't happen.  I chose not to get involved.  I saw what happened and Mia didn't take it from her so there was no issue as far as I was concerned.  But this little girl or her mother were not letting it go and thankfully the activity ended and all the kids moved on to something else before I had to say something to the mom.

Sometimes we have to just let kids figure it out and work it out instead of directing them all the time as to what to do.  Of course we have to correct them so they learn right from wrong and believe me I do tons of that at home between my two girls.

I am pretty sure I was getting a glare from the mom the rest of the time, but to each mom their own on how they want to handle things.

Friday, November 14, 2014

A blog within a blog

A lot of times I find myself dreaming of life before kids...what seemed like a simpler, carefree time.  Then I realize what a blessing my little ones are and I wouldn't want my life without them.  This mom nailed it on the head with her blog......

http://www.scarymommy.com/every-day-im-a-mother/#sthash.YpgMVN5u.gbpl

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Cars for a good cause

This past weekend we went to a Classic Car Auction.  My father-in-law has a little collection and he was selling a few of them at the auction so my husband went to help and I went for something to do with the girls.  Mia loves car shows so she fits right in.  There were beautiful cars going through for sale and for a lot of money.  One corvette went for $190,000...that's what I paid for my house!

Towards the end of the day the Pink Slips, which is a ladies car club, were auctioning off a Hummer electric kids car for a young family with an 18 month old daughter.  Little Dakota started having seizures at just 2 weeks old and was diagnosed with a rare brain inflammation caused by a virus.  Recently tests showed that this virus had destroyed 80% of her brain function.  Doctors say she will likely never walk or talk.  The family moved closer to Sick Kids where they spend a lot of time and obviously have years and years of therapy ahead for her, wheelchairs, braces to help her move around  and they will need a wheelchair accessible van.

My husband wanted to stay and watch the kids car get auctioned off, he thought it would be quite exciting to watch all these people bid and raise a lot of money for this family.  Our kids were tired so I went out to the car to get them loaded in.  When he came to the van what he told me was surprising.  The kids car went up for auction, the family and the little girl were even there on stage.  The auctioneer started and the crowd was silent.....no one was bidding.  These were people who were spending thousands of dollars on cars but not one could bid for this family?  It wasn't even about the little electric car it was about this family standing in front of everyone who need help.  So my husband started bidding and another guy got into it so they bid back and forth and we are now the owners of kids electric car :)

My husband was so happy that we could help, but sad at the same time that all those people did nothing.  God has blessed our business and we are blessed with 2 healthy little girls so how could we not help.  I just had to picture ourselves in their position and life can change so quickly if someone in your family gets sick, and as we are blessed with OHIP it certainly doesn't cover everything.

God calls on us to help others around us who are in need without question and without expecting anything in return.  We don't need the little electric car, that's not why we did it, and we are going to find a way to pay it forward and use it to bless someone else.

The Pink Slips are a group of great women who use their car club to raise money for lots of families in need, if you want to learn more about them and baby Dakota go to http://www.pinkslipscarclub.com/2012/charity.php



Thursday, October 23, 2014

We don't have to be silent after a miscarriage.

Last week I talked on my show about miscarriage and the church.  Encouragement to our churches to help women and couples who have gone through a miscarriage.  It seems to be this silent subject that we even as women just keep tight lipped about but it is a devastating loss and we need to be able to grieve.

Before having Mia I had 2 miscarriages so I understand that loss.  The minute a woman finds out she is pregnant we are off and running with all the thoughts and excitement about having a baby.  Will it be a boy or girl?  What names do we like?  How should I decorate the nursery?  When I found out I was pregnant the first time I took about 3 tests to make sure because I was just so excited.  I really wanted to totally surprise Phil because we had been trying for months and like most people we thought it would happen right away.  I snuck to the doctors office for a blood test and had to wait until the next day for the result and I was just busting to tell Phil but I wanted that 100% answer.  When I got the yes I went and bought a baby bib that said "I love daddy".  That night at dinner I handed to Phil.  We both just burst into tears and laughing and hugging.  We called both our parents to tell them the news and we told a few close friends and kept it at that for now.  Even thought you never think a miscarriage is going to happen to you in your mind you still want to wait until you get to the "safe zone" before you start shouting from the roof tops.

A few weeks into the pregnancy I started to have complications and spotting.  The helpless part of this is that your pregnancy is so early there is really nothing you or any doctor can do to stop what is happening.  Even though I was spotting my ultra sound showed a little flutter of heart beat so I was told everything was ok and just take it easy.  The spotting went off and on for a few more weeks but I just kept telling myself everything was fine.  At my 10 week appointment we were expecting to hear the heart beat for the first time.  Phil was out in the waiting room and the tech starts with me to do the preliminary work and measuring the baby and then dad gets called in to see the baby.  My tech was really quiet and I asked when my husband could come in.  She said that he couldn't come in today and that the doctor would call me to discuss the ultra sound.  Well right then I knew this was not good.  I know that the tech is not allowed to tell me there is no heart beat, and as angry as I was I know it's a horrible position for them to be in as well.  I went back to work for the afternoon and just prayed that there was a mistake and the baby was fine.  When I got home I saw it all over Phil's face.  Our family doctor had called and confirmed that there was no heartbeat, our baby was dead.

 I think we both cried all night.  I called in sick to work the next day and went to see the doctor to find out what happens next.  I didn't want a procedure, I wanted my body to do this on it's own.  That's the other part of this that is horrible to experience.  We grieved finding out there was no heartbeat but then I still had to go through the physical aspect of it.  I went back to work for the rest of the week and I was just waiting, and praying it wouldn't happen while I was at work.  Over the weekend the physical part of the miscarriage started.  It's devastating and extremely painful.  I went to work the next day and went on with life, told no one.

For months I cried everyday over this loss.  I never felt the baby move yet, yes it was early in the pregnancy but it is still a death and a loss and we need to grieve that loss.  I felt like a failure, why did my body fail me?  What if I can't have a baby?  Not talking to anyone or telling anyone was a mistake.  I grieved silently and to myself and it's such a lonely feeling.  Of course I talked to my husband but they handle this very differently than we do.  We have the physical connection that they don't have.  They grieve but then they are ready to move on and try again, I think that is harder for women to just pick up and move on.

6 months later I found out I was pregnant again.  We were excited but cautious.  A week later I was spotting again I went to the doctor for a blood test and my hormones were very low which meant the pregnancy was gone.  I was very early in the pregnancy so the physical aspect of the miscarriage was not painful.  I didn't take this miscarriage as hard because I had literally only found out the week before so I was not as invested yet, I was still grieving the first baby.

After the second miscarriage we stopped trying to get pregnant to take some stress off.  And what happens when you do that....you get pregnant again!  Just a couple months after the second miscarriage I was pregnant again.  There is always excitement but I was literally on pins and needles all the time.  Every doctors appointment I was given an ultra sound because of my history and I would hold my breath to hear if the baby was ok.  Weeks went on and everything kept going well.  I was never sick which always made me wonder if I was ok, but I was just blessed with no morning sickness (I made up for it when I was pregnant with Melody, sick for months!) On November 10, 2011, after a crazy delivery, our beautiful Mia was born.  Less than 2 years later, August 1, 2013 Melody was born.

I still think about those 2 babies we lost all the time.  What would they have looked like, who would they have grown up to be?  Phil gave me a family ring with all our birth stones in it and there are 2 clear stones to represent the babies we lost.  It's ok to grieve, it's ok not to just move on and forget.  Those are still our babies, they are our angels, and they will always be a part of our family.

This is just my story and my experience, but I know there are lots of women out there who need to know they are not alone.  And I encourage you to open up and talk about it if you have been through it, it not only helps you but it could also help someone else in the process.


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Second Time Around

I love hand me downs.  It's the bonus of having 2 girls.  I love them not just for the wonderful financial aspect but because all those little outfits have a story and we get to re-live it a second time.  I have a pretty good memory and I have photos to help me remember so I dress Melody and remember who gave me the outfit or where I bought it.  Her sandals this summer were ones we bought for Mia on a trip to Florida.  I put her in a pair of jeans and a sweater over the weekend and Phil remembered that it was the first outfit he had bought for Mia on his own.  I have even gone so far as to put Melody in outfits that I had cute pictures of Mia in and pose them the same way for back to back comparisons....yeah I'm that mom.  I love reliving the memories and saving money at the same time :)