Friday, August 1, 2014

On the day you were born.....

I haven't blogged for over a year but I thought the occasion of my second daughters 1st birthday was a good topic to start with as I get into things, seeing as she and her sister are what have kept me so busy that I haven't blogged.

I left work in March of 2013, 6 months pregnant, on an early maternity leave/sick leave as my pregnancy with Melody was proving more difficult than when I was pregnant with Mia.  I spent the next few months at home with Mia enjoying some alone time with her and quite enjoyed our daily naps together.  As we got closer to my due date I will admit some panic set in.  We were physically ready for another baby, the room was ready, everything was washed, my bag was packed.  Mentally I'm not sure if I was ever ready.  We had a nice little routine with the 3 of us, Mia had become an awesome sleeper, it was bliss.  Now I was going to back to all night feedings and nap time for me was going to be non-existent with Mia to chase around as well.

Melody (we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl) was due Aug. 14.  I had an emergency c-section with Mia so I had an option this time around to try for natural or schedule a c-section.  I went back and forth on this literally until 2 weeks before.  I knew recovery from a natural birth would be easier, especially with having Mia at home, but Mia's birth was very scary and we almost lost her so I felt more at ease with a c-section, that the baby wouldn't be going through the distress of labor.  So my c-section was scheduled for Tuesday Aug. 6.  I'm a planner so I really liked knowing the date and time.  We could arrange care for Mia and I wasn't going to have to go through any contractions.....that was a bonus!

Wed. July 31 - Phil had got home late after being in Toronto buying a truck and getting it delivered to the house that night so we didn't have to worry about it later...good thing we did :)  We were heading in to the long weekend and Phil's family was coming up to their cottage to help with Mia and I was looking forward to a weekend of rest and pampering before the big day on Tuesday.  I needed that rest as it was getting more difficult to sleep peacefully at night 9 months pregnant.  Around 2am I woke up not feeling well.  Didn't feel like contractions just felt sick.  Phil asked what was wrong and I remember saying "oh i hope i'm not going into labor!"  Around 4am I woke up again and this time it was contractions.  Are you kidding me!  I'm not ready, I was supposed to have the weekend, I didn't want to deal with contractions.....this is all my selfish talk going on in my head.  We timed them for an hour and a half to see if this was the real deal.  Just like my labor with Mia - they came on fast, every 5 minutes right out of the gate.  I didn't want my water to break, that's what caused distress for Mia so I was anxious to get to the hospital.  We called Phil's mom who literally through her stuff into garbage bags and jumped in her car to get here.  I think we will buy her real luggage for Christmas this year.

We got to the hospital and I got all hooked up to the machines.  My doctor came in around 9am and just shook her head at me....apparantly Thursday's were the busiest days in day surgery and of course I go into labor on a Thursday.

The doctor who did my epidural with Mia was a dream, I never felt a thing.  I prayed I would get the same guy this time.  I didn't but this guy was just as amazing, I felt nothing, I could have kissed him!  The morphine did a number on me this time and I was doing everything I could do not to throw up because that's just not a good look.  Thankfully everything stayed down and at 10:52am (funny enough Mia was born at 10:52pm) our tiny little girl was born weighing in at 6lbs 15 oz.  I had to ask them to confirm that seeing as Mia was almost 9lbs, but Melody was also 2 weeks early.  She had wonderful dark hair and squishy face. These skinny long arms and legs and long feet, she was wonderful.

Having your second baby is very different than your first when it comes to your hospital visit, from my experience at least.  First of all because I went right to surgery I got put in a surgery recovery room which is next to the maternity ward, instead of one of the nice maternity rooms.  Thankfully I was by myself at least.  It was baby mania my few days in the hospital, I heard babies being born left and right so I really got no attention from the nurses, which I actually liked because I got some sleep rather than them bugging me every 10 minutes.  Because it was my second I think they figured I knew what I was doing.  When I took my little walks up and down the halls and heard some of those babies being born and the noises coming out of the rooms I was again thankful for my c-section.  My doctor is amazing and I had really good recoveries both times.

I couldn't wait for Mia to come and see her baby sister, it was love at first sight.  There was a lot of defence going on so Mia wouldn't poke her in the eye, but Mia just wanted to cover her in kisses.  It came time to name her and we really hadn't settled on anything before her birth but Melody was one of our back-up names when Mia was born so it was a natural fit.  Mia's 2 middle names are after both Phil and my mom - Rose and Jean so we wanted to include our dads somehow in the middle names for Melody so her middle names are the names of our paternal grandmothers May and Pearl.  The last time I saw my grandma Pearl before she passed away she was in and out of it and I wasn't really sure if she even knew I was there but she looked right at me at one point and said "I will always be with you" and she definately is, I think of her all the time when I look at Melody.

This first year with 2 little ones has been a challenge for sure.  Melody has been quite a different baby then Mia.  Not a good sleeper and pretty fussy most of the time.  But as my other grandma Eva used to say, this too shall pass and it did.  She sleeps like a dream now, still a bit fussy here and there but watching her grow and learn new things has been so awesome.  Watching her roll and crawl and now walking, and Mia has been cheering her along every step of the way.  Watching the 2 of them together is such joy.  The benefit of a small age gap is that they can play together which started in the last few months and I just pray everyday that they grow up the best of friends.

Sometimes I miss working full time, or maybe I just miss being out of the house and having adult conversations.  But being with these girls everyday is the most rewarding part of my life.  I pray that I can just be a good mom to them, someone they can look up to.  I pray that they love God and make that choice because they want to not just because they were raised that way.  I want them to be kind and giving and adventurous with no fears.

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