Some relationships aren't always the way we would want them to be.  Some we wish could be a closer relationship and are strained for whatever reason.  When I have a relationship like this I lose sleep, I stress, I try to figure out how the relationship got to this point, I try to figure out ways that can repair it and bring it closer, I literally age myself from the toil I put myself through.

Low and behold I was watching "Flipping Out" a design/reality show with Jeff Lewis.  It half about his life as an interior designer/house flipper and half about his personal life.  So he was going to have lunch with his father and he's talking about their relationship and he even said it's not the relationship he would hope for but he can either accept that relationship the way it is or have no relationship at all.

I didn't think I would be getting inspiration from that show, other than design ideas, but what he said really hit me and kind of gave me some relief.  I can either let this age me more, or submit control and accept it for what it is.  It may be this way forever which again I have to accept, and I can just keep praying for resolve and pray that it could get better in the future.