You Love Me Anyway

I'm filling in on the air for AJ today as they get ready for the arrival of their baby Wonderdog anytime now.  I'm taking this quiet time in the studio and really listening to the words of the music.  The music of LIFE 100.3 pumps through our offices all day long but when you're working it's easy to kind of tune it out.  I just played the Sidewalk Prohets "You Love Me Anyway" - i sat back and listened and WOW what a reality check.  All the wrongs I have done, sadness I may have caused God when I turned away instead of turning to Him when I needed Him the most and yet He loves me anyway.  It's a promise that we all need to be reminded of.  If He loves us through all the garbage how can we not give Him everything?

Did you feel that!?!?

Disclaimer:  The majority of my blogging will probably be about pregnancy these days because it's the biggest thing in my life right now - literally so I apologize if you are rolling your eyes, "here she goes again" kind of thing.

I'm 21 weeks pregnant now and i've been feeling the baby move since about week 17.  Just rolling or twisting but not until this week i have I felt more defined kicks and punches.  Nothing too hard or painful yet but I can definately feel it.  My husband has been anxiously waiting for when he gets to feel the baby seeing as I have been talking about it for weeks.  Last night there was quite a bit of kicking so I got his hand in position and we sat still and quiet and waited for the big moment....then pow there it was and we both said at the same time "did you feel that?!?!?"  It was probably the hardest kick i've felt and I was so excited for my husband that he got to feel it, it was quite a bonding moment for him to feel our baby moving around.  Even though I hear it gets uncomfortable i'm looking forward to more kicks and punches from the little one!

20 down 20 to go

I have hit the halfway point with baby Melanson, 20 weeks down and 20 more to go until we meet our little one.  I had my 20 week ultra sound and we did NOT want to find out if it was a boy or a girl and even if we had wanted to know the baby wasn't showing off the info, a modest little one already.

I have been very blessed to have a smooth sailing pregnancy so far.  Not really sick in the beginning, although very tired.  I had an energy spurt after I hit 12 weeks where I was feeling great, ready to stay up late and have a life again.  That seems to have come to an end seeing as I was in bed at 6pm last night because I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I slept for a couple hours, got up for America's Got Talent and Cake Boss and back to bed I went. 

Sleeping has become an interesting task as I try to find a comfortable position which usually depends on how the baby is sitting.  The baby seems to like to sleep all day and party all night so as I fall asleep it decides to do some gymanstics and I have to find a new position to sleep in.  I am not complaining at all because I find it all so exciting.  I still can't believe there is a baby in there keeping me up and not just something I ate.  I'm loving all the movements but it's starting to set in that in 20 weeks it has to come out.......not sure how I feel about that part yet! 

Boy or Girl?

In a couple weeks I will have my next ultra sound, and it's the big one, we can find out if we are having a boy or a girl.  Phil and decided a long time ago that we want the surprise in the delivery room so we are going to opt out of the option at the ultra sound.  It's so funny to see people's reaction when we tell them we're NOT finding out.  I guess with the option now it's just assumed everyone would want to find out. 

Deep down of course I would like to know ahead of time.  I can plan a pink or blue room and start the babies wardrobe.  But there is something exciting about finding out in the moment of the babies birth.  I have a nice neutral plan for the room and then I can add touches of blue or pink when the time comes.  As for clothes, i'll get a few things to get me started and then i'll let the grandma's do some shopping and when the babies born.  We have a name for either already to go we just need he or she to arrive.

My mom thinks we will cave in the ultra sound room and end up finding out.  I'm the kid that opened that snooped through the house looking for my Christmas gifts, even opening them and re-wrapping when my parents weren't hope.  So she thinks there is no way I can wait for this surprise.  However i'm older and wiser now, once she said that to me now i'm determined not to give in just to prove that I can stick to my guns.  Challenge accepted mom!

The trip that wasn't meant to be

At the end of January my husband and I booked my dream vacation to the Myan Riviera in Mexico.  I had never done the all inclusive trip before and after a couple jam packed touristy trips it was time for the relaxing vacation on the beach.  We got an amazing deal on a 5 star resort and I couldn't wait.  I had to wait until the beginning of May to go but I knew it would be well worth the wait.

At the end of February we got the exciting news that we were going to have a baby!  There was no immediate concern about going on the trip but on and off for the first few months I had some complications.  As the trip got closer my doctor recommended I not travel and cancel the trip.  This is one of those times that you obviously take your doctors advice very seriously.  We cancelled the trip and I stayed home and rested.  I threw myself a pitty party the first few days at home thinking about how I could be on a beach reading or in the pool.  This was going to be our last hoora before we start our family and travelling becomes very different.  Obviously a very selfish moment on my part forgetting the bigger picture here and God brought me quickly back to the heart of the matter.

We are over the moon about our little bundle and this was our first decision as parents to protect our child.  Surely there will be many more moments like this when we give up something for our child, that's part of being parents. 

I am so excited about this journey into motherhood and so grateful for God's blessing on our family!

Good-bye My Friend

Today in a beautiful pink dress Oprah Winfrey took her last walk across the stage of her show after 25 years.  I will be 35 this year and for the past at least 20 years of my life the Oprah show has been a part of it.  I can't say that i've seen every single show Oprah has done, i went to school and work, but when i got a VCR and then the PVR I was able to catch most of the shows.  I realize that everyone has a different opinion of Miss O and i've heard them all and everyone is entitled to their opinion. 

This is why I have admired Oprah for many years, here is a woman from the back woods of Mississippi who came from nothing, the poorest of poor, and look at what she has done.  And it's not all about the money and the fame.  First of all she is probably the richest woman in the world but also the most philanthropic.  She is an ambassador for education.  Through grants and scholarships provided through her show she has educated over 64,000 children.  She has opened the dialogue for issues that were never spoken about, abuse, drug addiction, body image and brought us real people with real stories that could touch our lives.

If I were to write out my "bucket list" being in the audience at the Oprah should would have been on the top of the list and I never did it.  I've been to The View & Regis & Kelly but I never thought I would have a shot at Oprah tickets all these years so I never really tried.  And one thing I should have learned from Oprah all these years is you can do anything and I didn't even take her advice to get to her show!  I will kick myself for awhile on that one.

There were no guests today, no surprises, no cars or trips, just Oprah, the stage and her look back on 25 years.  After today there will be no more calling your girlfriends "did you see Oprah today?"  For many husbands i'm sure that comes as a blessing. 

For years people have questioned Oprah's faith, today she made it very clear.  I am rewinding my PVR so that I can quote what she said about what she believes.

"Nothing but the hand of God has made this possible for me.  For all of you who get riled up when I mention God and you want to know which God I'm talking about, I'm talking about the Alpha and the Omega, the Omniscient, the Omnipresent, the ultimate consciousness, the source the force of everything and all there is, the one and only G-O-D - that's the one I'm talking about.  I know I have never belone and you haven't either, that presence that flow, some people call it grace, is working in my life at every single turn and yours too if you let it in.  It's closer than your breath and it is yours for the asking.  I have felt the presend of God my whole life even when I didn't have a name for it I could feel the voice bigger than myself speaking to me and we all can hear that same voice, be still and know it.  You can acknowledge it or not, you can worship it or not, you can praise it or ignore it or you can know it.  Know it, it's always there, speaking to you and waiting for you to hear it."

Until we meet again Oprah, thanks for the memories. 

A Place of Yes

One of my guilty pleasure TV shows is the "Real Housewives" franchise, specifically New York.  I love NYC in general and I get hoot out of these women.  Bethenny Frankel was one of the cast members and branched out into her own show.  I was always interested in her story because she didn't have the greatest of childhoods and upbringings and managed to rise above it all and become quite a successful business woman and I love stories like that.  She used the reality shows to get her name and brand out there and it worked.  She is a natural foods chef and started her brand by writing Naturally Thin and help women stop the dieting craze, learn to just eat right, eat proper proportions but also not to deny yourself.  That booked launched Bethenny's career.  She tried many times before but never gave up.  I really enjoyed reading her story in her latest book "A Place of Yes" and how she let go of the past and made a choice to not let her past define her.  At a certain age alot of women would give up on having that career if it hadn't happened for them yet.  Bethenny didn't give up and it didn't happen for her until later in life.  It all happened for her at once too, her career exploded, she got married and had a baby girl.  These are all thing she had wanted for years and they finally happened, good things come to those who wait. 

She's a strong woman and I admire that about her.  I definately related to her stories as a newlywed getting married later in life and that adjustment to living with someone after being single for so long, it's a whole new world! 
http://books.simonandschuster.com/Place-of-Yes/Bethenny-Frankel/9781439186909